Three dogs are at the vet: Three dogs are at the vet:
One dog asks another, "What are you here for?"
"lm gonna be put down. It was
all the bloody cat's fault. It kept riling me and finally. too much. I snapped and bit its
head off. I'm gonna get the needle. How about you?"
"Yeah, a bit similar for me, only it was the postman. I only bit the old idiot a
couple of times. but now they're gonna do me in too.
They asked the third dog.
"Well, actually, it was the boss's missus brought me in., She was bending over the
bed this morning, wearing one of those short nightie things and I lost my head. I jumped
her from behind and gave her one right on the spot.
"Damn", says the first dog, "no wonder you're gonna get put down.
"Well", says the third dog, "lm actually here to have my nails clipped.
Two whales, a male and a female are swimming
off the coast of Japan when the male looks up and sees the whaling ship that killed his
father five years earlier.
Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father's death, the male whale says to the
female, "Let's go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That ought
to knock their boat over and make them think twice about killing innocent whales."
The female whale agrees, and the plan works perfectly.
Once the whaling ship has completely sunk, the male whale notices that most of the sailors are making their way back to the shore by either swimming or in lifeboats.
Not willing to let them get away so easily. the male whale yells "They're going to shore - Let's go gobble them up!"
Just then, the female whale becomes less cooperative: "Look." she says. "I agreed to the blow job, but there's NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!"
Two alligators eating a clown, one said to the other..."does
this taste
funny to you?".
(Sent in by M.P. Baynes)
Two flies are
sitting on a piece of shit. One fly farts. The other looks
at him and says: "Hey, I'm eating here!"
(Sent in by Galas Richard)
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Last update: May 07, 2011
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