Steven Wright

My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I'm not naked, I'm in the band."

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Today I dialed a wrong number...The other person said, "Hello?" and I said "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

I saw a bank that said "24 hour banking", but I don't have that much time.

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Last update: May 06, 2006

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